Ordeals after ordeals

Too much has happened @ home lately.... i'm really very worn out, dead beat..... when will all this come to an end..... dad is down wif depression abt 2 mths ago.... and condition seems to get worse even after admission, taking med and all the care, concern and counseling doesnt seem to help..... i really feel so helpless and hopeless!!!!! wad more can i do????

I've been really very physically and emotionally stressed up.... either drown myself wif tears or been wanting to cry everyday..... it's torturing for me but the most tortured person is my mum.... i really pity my mum very much..... she's the best mum, best wife a man can ever get but where does she have to suffer all this shit from my dad??????? Wad did we owe him???? i know my mum is really very very hurt, but she's still being strong, she doesnt want to affect me too coz she noes how stress i am too.... having to juggle my work, studies, assignments, grandma and now him........ i'm really really very very very very tired.......... life is really really tough. When will all this come to an end???

I've been really very hot and short tempered lately..... due to so much stress.... i noe i have to be patient wif him, but all the things and actions he's up to esp his "acting", really pisses me off... i really hate to feel this way but i really cant control no matter how hard i try to control..... he's testing my limit. I've already done all tat i can, but nothing seems to help and tatz y i'm feeling really hopeless and helpless. i'm really @ a loss now....

Sometimes i really admire my sis for being so cool and cruel. How i wish i can be like her at times perhaps my life could be easier.... but it's not in me.... i'm too alike my mum's character..... soft-hearted....... i noe i haf to be strong even thou i feel like i'm collapsing soon.... coz i haf to be here for my mum..... i'm worried abt her health too.... from high blood pressure to now low blood pressure and she's anaemic..... i really cant afford to let anything happen to her.

Everyone is asking me to be patience and strong.... i'm really seriously already trying my very best..... it's really not easy.... i appreciate those who really empathize wif me.... it's really not easy!!!!

i juz hope i can really do well in my degree, i've spent so much and i really dun wan to waste the money and effort just like this.....